Moving On 102

I knew it!!!

I am ready to move on. Weepee!!!

All the while, I thought only she can make me happy. But now, I am starting to win the fight. Proving that the so-called "thought" is absolutely, certainly, totally, enormously, entirely, completely and very... wrong!

I can be happy alone.

I can be happy with people around me.

I can be happy knowing that they love me.

I can die.

Today.

Die happily.
___________________________________________

Die??? Nooooo!!! I dont want to die yet!!!

Not now!

I am having the time of my life!!!
___________________________________________

Denial 101? Nah!

I am done with that, graduating na nga ako e. ^_^

Wanna kill me?

I dont know how am i gonna be happy.
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And dali daling magpasaya ng tao
And dali daling magpatawa
Yung tipong luluha sila at magmamakaawang
Huminto ka na dahil di na nila kaya ang sakit ng tiyan
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Naisip ko, pwede ko kayang gawin yun sa sarili ko?
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Di ako masaya.
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I am not happy.
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If I will be allowed to live my life again,
Madami akong babaguhin.
Madami akong babalikan.
Madami akong mga bagay na gagawin
At madami akong mga bagay na hindi gagawin.
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Pero hindi totoo ang magic
Walang magic
Walang Harry Potter, Santa Claus, o Fairy God Mother
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Start a new life.
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Sana may magturo sa aking maging masaya.
Sana makilala ko na kung sino man sya
Lalake, babae, bakla, tomboy, matanda, bata,
May buhay man o wala.
Aso man o pusa.
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Balang araw
Bullet Sun
Bullet Day
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Drama. Korni.

Moving On 101

Rule # 1. You cannot be friends with your "ex", if you do, two things might happen. Either (1) you'll fall for her again or (2) her friends will think you are up for something not so good.

Example:

girl: psst.. pop moko pag nagonline ka ha

boy: hello
boy: baket pop?
boy: ano meron?

girl: i chatted with bestfriend

boy: and then?
boy: what happened?

girl: and she told me something..
girl: hehehe

boy: what?

girl: anyways ill quote one
girl: "bestfriend: hahahha utak??? naku kun ako tatanungin mo pero wag mo ng sasabihin kay rye ah baka magalit sakin yun...oo kalimutan mo na c rye no di kayo bagay!"

boy: hahaha

girl: ahahaha,
girl: i told her her comment is still the same
girl: as it was before, hehehe

boy: yeah
boy: nothing has changed
boy: i dont mind though

girl: bestfriend: nginuman cla ni jay pagkagaling sa burol tas dun nya yata nilabas sama ng loob nya ganda: ano kaba andun kami para sayo no... bianca masakayan: may kinuwento cya kay jay un story nyong dalawabianca masakayan: aheheheganda: d naman daw masama loob niya e, "he's cool with it" sabi niya

boy: yeah
boy: yun naman sinabi ko kay jayson
boy: and mind you, di ako naglabas ng sama ng loob ko
boy: nag kwento lang ako
boy: hahaha

girl: she thinks you're not okay with it

boy: man
boy: hahaha

girl: hahaha,

boy: yung kwento ko kay jayson?
boy: that was the same story na sinabi ko sayo
boy: nung nag mocha blends tayo

girl: a.. ok..
girl: bianca masakayan: may sinabi skin c jay sabi nya bkit c lea daw kc di hinintay c rye

boy: nasabi ko na sayo yan e
boy: hehehe
boy: diba? kaya mo nga ako tinext?

girl: may answer: ganda: bakit nga ba?ganda: bat ako maghihintay kc no ganda: hahaha

boy: hahahha

girl: tinext about what?

boy: basta
boy: nasabi ko na yan
boy: alam mo na yan
boy: and FYi

girl: what?

boy: "getting over it" and being "cool with it" are two different things

girl: for you what's being "cool with it"?
girl: anyways, i dont care whatever, just forget everything

boy: nuff said,

girl: evrything, even me if possible haha

boy: i find you werid
boy: weird
boy: like now
boy: we already talked about this

girl: yah, im weird
girl: why?

boy: that we will be friends?
boy: and now here you are
boy: asking me to forget you
boy: and all
boy: i find it weird

girl: i dont know,
girl: hahaha
girl: i always forget what we talked about
girl: hahaha, nwei.. i dont know

boy: wayway
boy: up to you,
boy: di ko alam bakit pati pagiging friends natin may issue

girl: you think there shouldnt be an issue?
girl: even if we HAD something

boy: had what?
boy: a cup of coffee?

girl: hahaha, fine fine..
girl: gotta go,
girl: ill be attending a meeting

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Yeah Right!

Bravo!!!

"Way Back Into Love"
Music and Lyrics

I’ve been living with a shadow overhead
I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on

I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I’ve been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love

Oh oh oh I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs
I know that it’s out there
There’s got to be something for my soul somewhere

I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me throught the night
I could use some direction
And I’m open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart again I guess
I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don’t know if it’s real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I’ll be there for you in the end

Poo Poo

Comment sa previous post...

I could have posted that years ago, matagal na rin naman kaming wala. 2 years? 3 years? I can't remember, but the feeling is still haunting me. Up to now, I still see myself spending time with her. It's weird.

sometime mid 2005.

We have decided not continue it, I prioritized my studies because I wanted to graduate. I wanted to get a good job, I wanted to earn a lot so I could give her a comfortable life, with me by her side. I promised that I will be back, right after our graduation.

We continued dating though, but with less expectation, less time for each other, less everything. She had boyfriends, all of them resembled at least a part of me.

Last quarter, 2006

She asked me out, we went to a mall in Mandaluyong. We were so happy then, as if we were still together. Admittedly, I still feel something for her. During our so called “date”, my heart kept on screaming, trying to tell me something that I knew is wrong.

We went home. She cried. I cried. She cried for she doesn’t want to see me again. I cried because I missed her. I missed her a lot. I was so happy, I can’t explain why. Do I still love her? Or am I just missing her company?

I tried to win her back though, I even asked her if she could keep me. But she’s in a relationship, and she loves the guy. I asked her if she still loves me, she told me that it will be unfair. Why?

First month, 2007

She asked me again for another date, to attend mass perhaps, and go to a mall. I didn’t reply because I had very erratic schedule then.

Two days prior to our second “date”, she cancelled it. She said that she was sorry for not waiting for me. Because she thought I left her for good. And she was hurt, so hurt. She said she’s setting me free. She wants me to be happy. And she doesn’t want to see me anymore. *Stunned

I cried for almost a hundred nights.

I was so hurt that I didn’t want to see her again. I started my own life. I applied for a job where I will be meeting a lot of people... because I wanted to move on.


Mid 2007

We saw each other accidentally after months of tears. I was with my highschool barkada, she was with her boyfriend. I was looking at her but she didn’t even dare to set her eyes on me. But I was so cool then, without a single sign of jealousy.

*Bubble thought* “I did it. I was able to move on. I was able to start a new life alone. And I am happy.”

Two days after, we YM-ed.

I told her how happy I am for her.

I told her that I am happy now, alone.

After hours of chitchatting, we’ve decided to grab a cup of coffee somewhere in Cainta. Nagkita kami, nagkwentuhan, nagtawanan.

Now, I don’t know what to say, the communication is again, open.

I would like her to meet a new me... a more matured and responsible me. I don’t want to ruin her life with her current partner. I want to be a gentleman.

I am afraid that I will fall for her again.

But I don’t want to buy that idea and I want us to be friends… just friends.

But I can’t help it.

Hold ON? OFF?

Pasintabi sa Shamrock

Hey, baby, how’s life been movin’ on?
I can’t deny it, now you are gone
This is the first time
Can I make it through?
Without you now, do the things I used to do

It’s getting harder to ease the pain
The feeling changes, love still remains
I don’t know how if I can get this right
Maybe given timeI’ll make the most of what I’ve got

Is this the price we pay
With all the good times we shared
Faithfully, we’ve got a reason to go on
I know it’s good to be true
Just spend the nights with you
Let me tell you that our love can make it through

Hold on, baby hold on
We’ve got to go on now
This feeling so strong
Hold on, baby hold on
It’s a burning desire
Comin’ right down the wire

Sweet talking it’s all in the line
There’s no turning back
Unless you make up your mind
The expectations after all of these years
Risin’ to the moment let’s forget all our fears

Is this the love we have
With all the good times we shared
Faithfully, we’ve got a reason to go on
I know it’s good to be true
Just spend the nights with you
Let me tell you that our love can make it through

Hold on, baby hold on
We’ve got to go on now
This feeling so strong
Hold on, baby hold on
It’s a burning desire
Comin’ right down the wire

And when the night is over
Well, no one can deny it
Got to believe in
We couldn’t ask for more
Than to hold each other tight
It’s just we’ll never take things for granted

Hold on, baby hold on
We’ve got to go on now
This feeling so strong
Hold on, baby hold on
It’s a burning desire
Comin’ right down the wire
Hold on, baby hold on (hold on)
We’ve got to go on now
(You can hold on to me while I hold on to you…)
Hold on, baby hold on… (hold on)

Breast Feeding

Lately, Ive been seeing mothers who breast feed their babies anywhere, from a crowded place like quiapo church to a blockbuster jeepney reigning over a very polluted hi-way. Is it just me? Or the people around me?

Society is changing over time. Someday, dont be shocked if you see topless women walking around the metro... and its not just for a "rally". Hays, one of the "perks" of being in a very "liberated" environment... *You wish

Thought of the day: "I am tired of being single."

I wanna be a father. Happy fathers day to me. ^_^